Before he died, my dad disinherited his other kids — but now my 3 siblings say it’s ‘selfish’ if I don’t share

The death of a loved one can be devastating for a family, but when a disputed will quickly follows the funeral, the grieving process often turns into a bitter dispute.

Case in point: the Levitt family. Caroline Levitt, a 29-year-old woman who is grieving the loss of her father, has been grappling with backlash from her three older siblings after learning she was the sole beneficiary of their father’s estate.

After years of being the only child to maintain contact and care for their aging, emotionally distant dad, Caroline was stunned to discover her father had left her everything: the house, the car and over $300,000 in savings.

Her siblings assumed she’d divide the estate equally, but when Caroline refused, she found out why her siblings had lost contact with their dad. One had borrowed money from him and never repaid it. Another cut the father off when dad refused to co-sign a loan, and the third forged their dad’s signature on an insurance document.

One sibling has hinted at taking legal action to get their fair share, but dropped that idea after seeing the paperwork. Now, Caroline’s caught between guilt and loyalty, wondering if honoring her dad’s final decision makes her selfish.

There are two things for Caroline to consider here — one legal and one ethical. Legally, if someone leaves behind a valid will, that document typically determines who inherits what. And since the father updated his will and named his youngest daughter as the sole beneficiary, the law is likely on Caroline’s side.

There are a few cases where wills can be contested, which can vary by state. In general, a will can be contested if:

• The person who passed away lacked the mental capacity to sign the will. For example, if they were very ill or suffered from dementia when the will was signed.

• The person was under duress or tricked into signing the will — for example, if they thought they were signing a different document.

• There is suspicion that the signature was forged.

• Another will exists, especially if the other will is newer. In most cases, the most recent will is the only one that is valid.

Based on the siblings dropping the idea of legal action after seeing the paperwork, Caroline is likely in the clear, legally speaking. However, it’s always a good idea to consult with an estate or probate lawyer to cover your bases when an inheritance is questioned.

Now for the ethical side: should Caroline share her inheritance because it’s the right thing to do? While this is a personal decision, try putting yourself in her father’s shoes — say you wrote a will leaving your favorite niece your estate and left out her brother, who was rude and even stole money from you. Would you want your nephew to get a share of your estate? Probably not.

Caroline’s father made his final wishes clear, and she can honor his wishes by simply following them. Of course, Caroline must consider what keeping the inheritance will do to her relationship with her siblings. If she refuses to share the inheritance, Caroline’s relationship with her siblings will likely be strained, if not completely severed. That is a tough decision that only she can make.

It’s also worth considering the financial implications of Caroline splitting the inheritance. To split the value of the house and car, she’ll need to sell these items. Depending on Caroline’s current living situation, she may decide that living in the inherited house is what’s best for her financially.

As you can see, there’s a lot for Caroline to consider as she mulls over what to do with her inheritance.

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Coming into an unexpected inheritance, especially one tied to complicated family dynamics, can be emotionally draining. But it’s important to take a step back and approach the financial side with a clear head. Here’s how to navigate the financial side of an inheritance.

The first rule of inheritance planning? Don’t rush. Wait a few months before making any major decisions, like quitting your job, investing a large sum or giving money to others. Emotions can cloud judgment, and grief can lead to impulse spending.

Before you do anything else, make sure the estate has cleared probate and that you legally have access to the funds and/or property. Also, check for any unpaid debts or taxes attached to the estate. In most cases, the estate, not the beneficiary, is responsible for those, but it’s important to confirm.

Once the estate is settled, consider placing the money in a high-yield savings account or a short-term certificate of deposit (CD).

Inheritances can come with unexpected tax implications, especially if they include investment accounts or rental property. An advisor can help you reduce your tax burden and make a plan for the funds. Look for a fiduciary financial advisor — someone legally required to act in your best interest.

If you’ve inherited a home, you’ll need to decide whether you want to live in it, rent it or sell it. Consider the cost of taxes and maintaining the home. Home insurance rates are on the rise, and all of these costs might set you back more than you realize.

There’s also the emotional aspect to consider — if you have good memories, you might want to keep the home. But if you have negative feelings about the house, or maybe its location, it might make sense to sell.

If other relatives feel they were “cut out” of the estate, tensions can rise. You may be under no legal obligation to share the inheritance, but if you choose to, do it intentionally and not out of guilt. Set clear boundaries about what you are or aren’t willing to give, and avoid getting pressured into giving more than you’re comfortable with.

Inherited money can be a powerful tool for reaching financial goals — if you manage it wisely. Take your time, get expert advice and make choices that support your long-term goals.

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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.